...no matter how painful

Because this is painful, because it needs to be remembered. Ya know those days where you are going about your business (chores, sports, TV, whatever) and life hits you so hard you know it has been the worse day of your life? Today is that day. November 3, 2019 will be a day that lives forever for me. Think of a day that has been bad. Loss of a job, car crash, credit card compromised. Well, multiply that by a number so big it cannot be counted. That is today. Tears were shed today. I am still in a daze and am not sure what to make of it. That numb feeling of, did this happen?, is it real?, will tomorrow be better?. I know from history that it will, I know as an adult that things do get better. I know that when I wake up it will still be there and every day after that. A day where things change - forever. No going back, no asking for a do over. It will not happen nor will it be provided. Life changing day. A day where life tomorrow will be different. Some will remember, others will not. Will those memories fade? Will they come back in some sort of odd flashback or odd déjà vu? Time will be the one that decides it all. Only I know what happened, I was there. The experience will be with me forever and that is the type of day that changes a person. It was not something that was decided upon, no one said today is the day. It happened and cannot be taken back. This is raw, this is now. I need to put this down to remember, to know this is not a dream. Understand this is not for punishment. It is not to dangle and say look at this, look at what was done. No. This is for me. For me to know that this day was life altering. Why? Because. So many reasons. No reason. Sad. Frightened. Alone. Undeniable. I don't know what to do. I know exactly what to do. The road ahead is hard. Some will say, things have been worse. For you then there have been days that hold no fire to this day. But, for me, today, of all the things that have happened in my life, this day is the worse day of my life. Everything else is insignificant to this day - and I mean EVERYTHING. No one, no time, no situation that I have been in has been as hard. My life has been a cake walk up until today. Anything in life is now easy, attainable. As if I were to build a pyramid by myself and all I am doing is the Sunday crossword. I need my focus and attention to be on point. The path is clear, the forest is cut down. One only needs to come out of the fog to truly comprehend how easy everything else in life is. Not a single soul could get in my way of fulling my goals and what I want to accomplish. Today is the day that me, as a person, has been put on the line and how this all shakes out will show what kind of a person I am.

Sick sucks

The last two weeks have sucked for the family.  Having almost everyone sick.  Last week the oldest was so sick, puking like 7 times in a few hours.

Tonight the middle and youngest have been puking too.  I have the youngest in the living room and she has puked 6 or 7 times and has not slept much.  Trying to stay awake to help her when she does get sick.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day for us.  I hope she can sleep and be rested for tomorrow.  Maybe when the wife leaves I can put her in her bed.

Good times being a parent.  (In the middle of this she did it again) Can't image what my mom went through having one child.  Having two that are sick is busy, especially at the same time.

Do the right thing for your kids so they will do it for theirs.

Ever wonder if you dodged a bullet?

So over the last month I have been thinking about my past.

Did I dodge a bullet?  Ya, looking back there were some bullets that were dodged.

What is the saying?  Don't put your dick in crazy?  Ya.

Sometimes you don't know or see the crazy.  In my case I was just stupid.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

*very loud scream*

Much better.

Why are my Windows 10 updates not working?

I upgraded from Windows 8.1, which I was very happy with, to Windows 10.  The privacy issues aside Windows works well.  Until Windows Updates did not work.

So, like any good tech I check the event logs.  As far back as May 12 2016 I am seeing a LOT of errors from AppModel-Runtime (21, 35, 123).  The mount of events in 1 second!

A bunch right?  So I start to look at the errors and event 35 says:

CreateAppContainerProfile failed with error 0x800706D9 because it was unable to register with the firewall.

Firewall?  What?  So, I check the firewall service.

It is disabled and not running.

So, I set it to manual and start it up.  Errors stop.  Windows updates work.

Right?  Look at those events.  They stopped right after I set the firewall to manual and started it.

Crazy stuff.  Not so good when you have an SSD as your main OS drive and all those events are being written to the drive.

Anyways, thought I'd do an update.

Just goin' for a rip?

Check out Shark Tank Goin' for a Rip... it is a fun song.

Smog

So France is going to introduce using your car every other day to combat pollution due to the subsity on desiel and the number of cars owned.  As well they  have introduced electric car sharing.

That seems so strange to me.  What would the norm be?  How about people have electric cars and then having a gas shared scheme where if you needed to travel outside the limit of your electric.

As well having solar cells on all houses to help with charging and cutting down on fuels that create green house gases.

Just my thoughts.

Giraffe killing

So, this is just wrong - and I mean the interviewer.  I don't know anything about how a Zoo needs to run or operate but these questions are so negative.   Why not ask why this was done to understand more about this.

I saw the autopsy and it was interesting.  The link below is of a BBC interview of a representative of Copenhagen Zoo.

http://youtu.be/ENnNNVOEDZ4